Outmaneuvered
by Red Witch
Summary: It's Bree's first day as a nurse, and Lifeline is learns a lesson about life, love and what goes on in the laundry room.


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Disclaimer: I do not own GI Joe (Wish I did!). This is my first pathetic attempt at romance writing. It's in response to all the Scarlet/Duke and Lady Jaye/Flint stories. Don't get me wrong, they're great, but I think the other Joes deserve some time in the spotlight too! What can I say, "Million Dollar Medic" was one of my favorite episodes!

**Outmaneuvered**

Lifeline nervously made his way to the infirmary. It was Bree's first day as a nurse for the GI Joes and he knew she was going to do something to humiliate him. It wasn't that he didn't like Bree. Truth was, he was having a hard time not thinking about her. He remembered how they first met. Her bright smile. Her emerald eyes. Her golden long blond hair that cascaded down her shoulders. That tiny green bikini that showed off her…

_No!_ Lifeline thought as he slapped his head in a desperate attempt to rid himself of that image._ No! No! Lifeline! Get a hold of yourself! Think unsexy thoughts. The Renegades in bikinis. Cobra Commander in a pink frilly tutu! Destro kissing…anyone really! _

He took a deep breath as he stopped just in front of the infirmary. _I can do this. I can do this. We can have a professional relationship as well…oh dear lord I do not want to go into that!_ He remembered when Bree had "kidnapped" him and tried to seduce him. Nothing happened despite Bree's attempts, but he had been ribbed about it for weeks. When she stopped calling him he merely assumed that she'd gotten tired of him. He felt stupid and wished he had done something about it. _Being the son of a minister is a real pain on your love life._ He sighed to himself. _It's given me a complex. Oh great, now I have my father running around in my head! That's all I need! I can hear him now… "Edwin, you must resist the temptations of the flesh." Yeah. Easy for you to say. You've never seen how much flesh Bree…oh no! Not again! _

"Get a grip Lifeline," He muttered to himself. "Bree's been trained as a professional nurse. Nothing is going to happen. Just go to work and treat her like any other normal Joe. It will be fine. Nothing will happen."

He braced himself and smiled his usual smile. He opened the door. There was Bree. She looked up from her desk where she was writing some kind of report. She had a serious look on her face. _Hard at work already, _He smiled. _See Lifeline, you had nothing to worry about. She is a true professional._

"Morning Darling," Bree flashed a dazzling smile. 

It was then that Lifeline knew what it felt like to be hit by a bus.

"Bree," Lifeline groaned. "Please! Don't call me that! This is not a game!"

"Really? This isn't the Monopoly play-offs?"

"You know what I mean! This is serious! You have to be professional!"

"Don't worry," she laughed. 

"Too late," Lifeline groaned.

"Relax. Just my warped idea of a joke," Bree flashed a smile. "I did pass the top of my class in nursing school. I told you I might be a Joe someday. Well I intend to prove myself. So don't worry, I won't try to seduce you on duty. Off duty is another story."

"Well, just behave yourself!"

"I will."

"Good. Just do your duty and stay focused on the job at hand. We have a very important job, taking care of the injured and wounded. We have labwork to do. Not to mention trying to keep the peace around here."

"I understand."

"Good. That's settled. Remember Bree, we are professionals. We are highly trained specialists, who know what they are doing and act accordingly," Lifeline nodded before opening a door on his left and stepping through it. He closed the door behind him.

Bree looked at the door for a full minute. Then she got up and opened it. "Lifeline, what are you doing in the closet?"

"Nothing," he moaned. "I mean…I was taking inventory of the…bandages! Yup. All here." He rushed out, nearly bumping into her. He could not get into the lab fast enough.

He saw Doc bent over from laughter. Lifeline turned as red as his uniform. "You knew didn't you?" 

"Know what?" Doc put up an innocent look.

"Don't give me that innocent act! You knew about Bree coming here didn't you?"

"Well, yes. It was my idea after all."

"WHAT?" Lifeline yelped. "Awwww! I should have listened to Roadblock! He warned me you might try to pull a stunt like this! He told me you liked playing matchmaker but I had no idea you'd do something that might endanger lives!"

"Oh for crying out loud kid get a grip!" Doc shook his head. "Lighten up! I'd hardly call Bree a menace. Well, as long as she doesn't try to fly any more solid gold choppers."

"That's not what I meant! It's just that…"

"I know what you meant and for your information I didn't recruit Bree because of you. I did it because I saw that she had what it takes to be a good nurse. I helped her get the training because I believe she will be an asset to the Joes."

"Oh," Lifeline felt sheepish.

"Yes. The matchmaking was just an unexpected bonus."

"Not to mention I'm easy on the eyes!" Bree laughed on the intercom.

Lifeline turned around. "Bree! Are you listening in on our conversation?"

"No she's just guessing what we say word for word," Doc smirked. "You are right girl, the boy is way too tense!"

"I could give him a massage," Bree suggested.

"Bree!" Lifeline turned red again.

"Hey when you're done with him can I have one?" Doc joked.

"No problem!"

"Doc!" Lifeline yelped.

"Oh boy, Bree you gotta see his face, I do believe he's jealous!" Doc laughed.

"I am not jealous!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!" Both Doc and Bree replied together.

"Will you guys knock it off!" 

"No," Doc and Bree said at the same time. Lifeline put his head in his hands.

"Why didn't I listen to my father and become a minister?" He moaned.

The day seemed to go downhill from there. Doc made several jokes and it was all Lifeline could do to keep himself from jumping off the roof. He never thought of himself as the Romeo type. Truth was, he was always shy around girls. This infatuation Bree had with him was the most unexpected thing in the world for him. 

The worst part was, he couldn't help but like it. For the first time in his life he had met a woman who was genuinely interested in him. A woman who didn't care if he wasn't a fighter. She didn't even laugh at him back in the cabin when she discovered he was…inexperienced and didn't pressure him when he nervously refused. In fact, she thought it was sweet. 

All throughout the day, her smile was slowly driving him insane. It was so beautiful. And it filled his heart with such joy. He ended up walking into several doors that day. In fact, he was relieved when the Joes were called on a rescue mission on an oilrig and he took off with Lift Ticket. He figured Lift Ticket's flying was safer.

True to form, it turned out that it was a COBRA trap. They were all lucky to get out alive and even luckier that no one was hurt. Lifeline sighed as he made his way back to the infirmary. "Anything happen while I was away?" he asked Doc.

"Not much. A couple of minor injuries. Splinters. Bruises. Thorns."

"Thorns?"

"Bazooka wanted to give Bree some flowers," Doc explained. "Ended up needing a little first aid."

"I was afraid of this."

"Oh don't worry Lifeline. Bree's a big girl; she can take care of herself."

"So where is she now?"

"In the back with a patient. Minor cut."

"Who's she in there with?"

"Shipwreck."

"What?" Lifeline panicked. He raced into the examining room. Bree was just putting the finishing touches of a Band-Aid on his finger. He had a bright smile on his face. 

"SHIPWRECK!" Lifeline shouted.

"What?" Shipwreck asked innocently.

"Don't give me that mister!" Lifeline fumed. "I know what you're up to!"

"Lifeline what are you talking about?" Bree said. "Shipwreck has a nasty cut on his finger."

"That's nothing compared to the nasty thoughts going on in his brain!"

"Lifeline you wound me," Shipwreck made a hurt look.

"For your information Lifeline, Shipwreck has been nothing but a perfect gentleman." Bree informed him. 

"Yeah Lifeline," Shipwreck winked at him. "What kind of heel do you think I am? I'm not the type of guy who'd go after another Joe's girlfriend!"

"Yes you are! And she's not…" Lifeline started to say before a commotion interrupted him. 

"Bree! Lifeline! We need you out here! STAT!" Doc shouted. They all raced into the lab to find Doc and Dusty bending over Beach Head on a gurney. He was on his stomach because there was a small arrow protruding from his posterior.

"What happened?" asked Bree.

"I got stepped on by an elephant! What do you think happened?" Beach Head screamed. "That psychotic Scarlet shot me in the behind! I wanna press charges!"

"Oh calm down Beach Head! She did no such thing and you know it!" Dusty said. "He sat on it. I tried to warn you Beach Head but you didn't listen to me!"

"Shut up! Get it out! Get it out!"

Shipwreck laughed. "I have to admit Beach Head. That's an original way to get to see a pretty nurse."

"Shut up Shipwreck! Unlike you I did not get injured on purpose! This is a serious emergency!"

"Actually Beach Head, it doesn't look that bad," said Doc "This must be one of her practice arrows. Bree prepare the patient."

"Wait a minute!" Beach Head cried out. "What is she gonna do?"

"I have to take off your pants so that Doc can examine you," She explained trying to unbuckle them. He resisted.

"Oh no you don't!" He shouted.

"Aw c'mon Beach Head, you know you want it!" Shipwreck laughed.

"I am not gonna let any woman look at my butt! Nurse or not!"

"Well that would explain why you have problems getting a date," Shipwreck smirked.

"Just get it out!"

"Okay!" Without warning, Shipwreck yanked out the arrow.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHAGHHHH!"

"Well you wanted it out!"

"Not like that! Hey!" He yelped when Bree took advantage of his distraction to pull down his pants. 

"You know Beach Head, you should really consider wearing underwear," Bree crinkled her nose. 

"This is so humiliating!" Beach Head moaned.

"Well she has to look at the boo boo on your butt," Shipwreck laughed.

"GET HIM OUTTA HERE!" Beach Head shouted. "Ow."

"The wound isn't serious. I think I can take it from here," Doc smirked. Bree and Lifeline shepherded the other two Joes out.

"I think I'm gonna frame this!" Shipwreck laughed holding the arrow.

"I'll help you," Dusty smirked.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU BLASTED GYRENE!"

"Uh oh…" Lifeline moaned at the all too familiar sound.

"They're at it again," sighed Dusty.

"What? What's going on?" Bree asked.

"Leatherneck and Wet Suit are having another philosophical debate," Shipwreck snickered.

They raced down the hall. Several Joes were already there watching the two fight. Some were even betting on the outcome. 

"I've got five on Wet Suit!" 

"Ten on Leatherneck!"

"I don't see why you clowns bother, it always ends up in a draw anyway!" Low Light shook his head.

"All right break it up!" Lifeline rushed between the two combatants. 

"Move it Lifeline, unless you wanna lose your teeth!" Wet Suit shouted.

"Just be patient Lifeline, you can have Mush for Brains when I'm through!" Leatherneck snarled.

"Cut it out! You guys don't wanna fight!" Lifeline tried to restrain them. 

"Wanna bet?" They both shouted, flinging Lifeline aside into a wall. 

Lifeline lay there, dazed. Finally he sat up. "Ugh. Doc?" 

"Take it easy kid," Doc helped him up. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine. What about Leatherneck and Wet Suit?"

"Don't worry. Bree's got it under control."

"What?" Lifeline yelped. He saw Leatherneck and Wet Suit in chairs facing each other. Bree was standing between them mediating.

"Now why don't you two tell each other how you're feeling? First you Leatherneck, don't hold back."

"I don't like it when you call me names," Leatherneck "It really hurts my feelings."

"I'm sorry Buddy, I don't mean too. I'm sorry!" Wet Suit bawled and they embraced. All the Joes watching them were in total shock.

"I see it, but I don't believe it," Dusty said.

"Well that's something you'll only see once a millenium," said Cross-Country.

"She's good," Dial Tone said in awe.

Lifeline pounded his head against the wall. "Why me lord?" He moaned. 

The next day Lifeline found himself delivering forms to General Hawk. 

"Lifeline come in," Hawk smiled. "Sit down. So how's the new nurse doing?"

"Oh fine! Fine!" Lifeline sat down.

"Oh?" Hawk raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah. Yeah. No problem."

"She's driving you crazy isn't she?"

"You have no idea!" Lifeline hid his head in his hands. "I mean, it's not that she's not good at what she's doing. In fact she's great. It's just…uh…I don't know!"

"I think you do know. Tell me."

"I think I'm in love with her."

"So what's the problem?"

"What do you mean what's the problem? That's fraternization! Isn't that against the rules?"

"Lifeline, tell me something. What's the address of the cave you've been living in the past couple of years?" Hawk asked. "I mean good lord, what do you do think goes on after hours on this base? You are not exactly the only man around here who is attracted to a fellow Joe."

"Well I know, but…"

"I mean come off it! Even I know about Duke and Scarlet! That was obvious from day one! And Flint and Lady Jaye, please! I'm not an idiot. I know what happened in the laundry room. Heck the whole base knows about it!"

"Well I don't…Wait a minute. What happened in the laundry room? When?"

"There are people in the Pentagon who know about it. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if COBRA knows about it! Knowing them, they'd probably have pictures."

"What? Of what? What are you talking about?" Lifeline asked incredulously.

"And let's not forget the on again off again romance with Falcon and Jinx!" Hawk continued. "Did they really think no one would know about the ice cream? Ha!" 

"Ice cream? I'm still trying to figure out what happened in the laundry room!"

"You really don't know do you?" Hawk was shocked. "Kid what do you do with your spare time?"

"Look I just never bothered to listen to gossip before," Lifeline shrugged. "I was taught not to. It is a sin after all."

"Well if I were you I'd break myself of that habit! Believe me, you get a lot of interesting information about your fellow Joes. Boy it beats filling out forms any day! The point is, like it or not, we're human beings. And things happen. I learned a long time ago it is impossible to wipe out sexual activity in a place filled with hyperactive nutcases."

"You mean…umm…is there a lot of…that going around?"

"Oh lord Lifeline, it's all over the place! Every time I turn around it's Scarlet and Duke this or Flint and Lady Jaye that! There's even some that goes under the "Don't ask. Don't tell." Category if you know what I mean?"

"What do you mean? Don't ask. Don't tell?" Lifeline asked. Hawk shot him a look. "Ohhhh. You serious?"

"Personally, I think it's just a rumor started by COBRA," said Hawk. "I mean, if you think about who's supposedly involved, it's ridiculous!"

"Who?" Lifeline asked. Hawk whispered in his ear. Lifeline's eyes went wide. "Oh now that has got to be a mistake! Those two? Come on! You're pulling my leg!"

"I say that goes under the "The Baroness loves Sgt. Slaughter category!" Extremely unlikely!" Hawk shook his head. "Total garbage."

"Of course," Lifeline fidgeted. "I always kind of suspected…umm." He whispered to Hawk who laughed.

"Oh not him! Trust me. Definitely not him. I mean, he's dating twins now."

"Really?"

"Yup. Both showgirls. And before that it was a magician's assistant. He may not look it, but he has a very smooth way with the ladies."

"I never would have guessed he was a playboy."

"I know, but boy the stuff he's done…Wait a minute! I'm getting off the track here! What was I going to say?" Hawk shook his head. "The point is, true there is a lot of romance on this base, but most of the Joes here are professional enough to not let it interfere with their job. Heck, a lot of times I purposely pair couples up sometimes because they are such a good team! Why do you think Flint and Lady Jaye get so many missions together? They can practically read each other's minds!"

"So what did they do in the laundry room?"

"Never mind that. Ask Doc, he'll tell you all the details. The point is Lifeline Bree is a fine woman. So take my advice, don't be an idiot! Go for it. If you don't you'll regret it!"

Lifeline left Hawk and wandered the corridors, alone with his thoughts. Before he realized it, he literally bumped into Bree. "Bree! Ummm…We need to talk."

"Well it's about time," she smiled.

"Bree be serious! This is important!"

"It seems like everything's important to you," she sighed. "With one exception."

"Well you have to admit it is a little weird seeing you in uniform."

"Why is it so strange?"

"Well this is you we are talking about!"

"I see," Bree frowned. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean," Lifeline was starting to get very uncomfortable. "You aren't…I mean I never considered you to…uh…"

"Anything more than a brainless bimbo?"

"No! I mean, uh…You surprised me that's all. It is a little disconcerting,"

"You mean because I'm just as good as you are? Maybe better?"

"I didn't say that! I mean you stalking me all the time and…uh…"

Bree turned on him; her green eyes were stone cold. "Listen mister, For your information my world does not revolve around you! I admit that I first thought of becoming a Joe to be with you, but the more I thought about it and the more I trained as a nurse I realized I wanted to do it for me! Ever since I was a kid, I always had someone look after me. Until I met you I had no idea I could do anything else with my life other than shop and go to parties. For the first time in my life I feel independent. Like I can do something right and not be such a screw up that's got to be bailed out of trouble all the time! I love being a nurse and helping people. It's the one talent I do have. It means more to me than anything else has in my life."

Lifeline looked sheepish. "Oh."

"Yeah. Listen, I really do like you Lifeline. You're the one who made me think about becoming a nurse in the first place. But if you think I'm gonna wait around while you…"

A loud alarm interrupted her. "That's a general alert! It must be COBRA!" Lifeline shouted. Both forgot their argument and raced to their battle stations. Lifeline lost himself in the battle, helping out the wounded here and there. No one was seriously injured until he saw a huge explosion. Out on the concrete was Low Light, unconscious. Lying in a pool of blood. Before he knew what was happening a red steak raced out into the midst of gunfire. It was Bree.

That was when he saw it. It looked like it was happening in slow motion. Bree struggling to pull the unconscious Low Light to safety. The Viper pilot's gunfire following them. Getting closer and closer. Bree falling…

"NO!" Lifeline cried out. He and Doc raced towards them. He grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder. They raced to safety with Doc carrying Low Light. Quickly he examined her. No bullet wounds. Just a bruise on her cheek. 

"Uhhh…" Bree moaned. "Low Light. Help him."

Lifeline was relived. She wasn't seriously hurt. Low Light however had a bad hit in the leg. Something clicked inside him and he set his concern for Bree aside. He helped Doc with the wounded Joe. All that mattered now was to help Low Light and keep him alive. What seemed like hours later, the battle was over and COBRA had been routed. Low Light was the most serious casualty but he was stable and would recover. Exhausted Lifeline made his way out of the operating room. Doc was sitting down, relaxing for the first time that day with a cup of coffee. 

A thought struck Lifeline. "Where's Bree?"

"Lying down in back. Finally. That girl is more of a pain to get to rest than you are." Doc chuckled. Then he looked at him. "Go talk to her." 

"Huh?"

"What's a matter, kid? Did COBRA shoot your ears off? Go-talk-to-her." He pointed at the door with his thumb. "You don't I'll kick your butt!"

"Okay okay," Lifeline sighed. He went in back and saw Bree lying down on a cot. She had a bandage on her left cheek. Lifeline gently brushed her right cheek with his finger. She opened one eye. "Not now darling, I have a headache."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. COBRA'S the one who shot at me."

"No! I mean…" He was at a loss for words. He sat down on the cot. "What I said, I didn't mean it! I was…"

"Being an idiot?"

"Yeah. And a little jealous."

"Really?" She sat up.

"Yeah," He looked down. He couldn't face her. "You are good. Better than I am. You are a lot more mature dealing with your feelings than I am. I was so afraid that something would happen…Not because you'd lose control. I was afraid I'd lose control. I made up reasons why I shouldn't get involved with you, that somehow it would end up hurting other Joes. But in reality, I was afraid of getting hurt. I never…had any one who was so…affectionate to me before. Other than my mom and sister, that is."

"So in other words you were scared."

"I prefer saying I was in complete denial, but yeah. That's about it. I thought You'd get tired of me or something and run off with some rich jerk and…"

He was interrupted by a long, gentle kiss. Lifeline let himself go and returned it, succumbing to her embrace. He broke from her after a moment and buried his face in her hair.

"Actually, I prefer medics that act like morons," she giggled.

"I was so afraid I'd lost you," Lifeline pulled her tighter. 

"I was a bit nervous of losing me myself," she joked. She kissed him again. He didn't fight it. He let himself enjoy the warmth overflowing inside of him. He passionately kissed her back. 

"This is gonna take some getting used to," Lifeline sighed as they came up for air. 

"So, we'll take it slow," she snuggled against his chest as he stroked her hair. They held each other like that for a long while. "So what's a girl gotta do to get some coffee around here?"

Lifeline laughed. "Good idea." They got up and walked to the cafeteria arm in arm. "Uh Bree?"

"Yeah?"

"Um…This is gonna sound kinda silly but I wonder if you could answer me something. You talked to Doc right?"

"Yeah."

"Um, what exactly did happen in the laundry room with Flint and Lady Jaye?"

Bree flashed a wicked smile. "I'll show you later."


End file.
